Mad new skillz

Where I tell you about all the cool shit I'm learning.

Kerning my face off.

When I first started university I became friends with The Best Man in The World. Nowadays he is busy solving the entire world, but back when I met him he was a mere multilingual, jazz-drumming, celebrity party-blagging student who had run a wildly successful graphic design company in his gap year. He introduced me to both an overwhelming sense of inadequacy and the art of typography.

Although I’ll never tire of calling them fonts to rile him, I did get bullied into taking an interest in the aesthetics and the effort that goes into designing a typeface. 

So when I came across this kerning game, I thought I might go ahead and dominate that field of expertise too. My overall score was 86/100, which I figure means I’m pretty much a fully qualified typographer. The designer at work seems to think I still have gaps in my knowledge. Killjoy.

            

It doesn’t count as learning a learning a new skill I guess, but it is gloriously satisfying. Try it out for yourself here.

Art Brute.

Here’s a non-exhaustive list of things I can’t do:

  1. Stand still for 25 minutes
  2. Hang out, nekkid, in front of a load of fully dressed people


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MAD SKILLZ. I can’t even do the walk the dog.

My brother and I learnt how to make stop-motion videos a while back. It was part of a job application I did, hence the odd content.

So, to add to my list of skill: film making.

Those who can’t do…

Teach English as a Foreign Language. Or at least I will if I ever get a reply to all the money I spent on it.

See this? Yeah, I dance nothing like that.

Hips can’t lie

I am a hideous bellydancer. It’s an enormously damaging sight, like watching a rooster attempt burlesque, or your mother try to be sexy at a wedding.

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Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

I enjoy a gloriously 21st Century affliction: I’m mildly interested in many things, but dedicated to none.

I could fill a portaloo with my half-arsed skills: I got to grade 7 on a musical instrument without ever learning to read music; I won some medals rowing, but gave up because they wanted me to train; I can play The Godfather theme tune on the accordion. 

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